MOLE

Where did that summer go? It seems to have been pretty non-stop down here under the lawn, but there's still been time to pick up some of those juicy tales that keep Mole amused.

It used to be Bovisand that was always the best source of tales, but the Red Sea seems to be taking over. Our first story involves Annette, who it seems may need some navigation training, especially in poor viz. It was a peaceful night until she decided on a trip to the loo. The fun came on the return journey when she got lost trying to get back to her and Pete's cabin (well, so she says) and instead wandered into our Chairman's abode saying "Pete, stop messing about". She beat a hasty exit after realising her mistake and hearing the real Pete calling out "Come here you tart!" Now, if the person she thought was Pete (really Bob) was indeed 'messing about', Mole thinks we all deserve to know exactly what was going on in there!

Another night-time story reaches Mole's furry ears, this time concerning Pete Simblet and a trip into the desert to look at the stars. There they all were, camped out taking in the ambience, when Pete decided to sneak under the canopy for a snooze. Mole guesses it must have been all have been just too much for him. Anyway, when he awoke, he just couldn't understand why he couldn't see the stars we could. Could it have been the roof over his head?

The trip also saw a couple of rechristenings. First to Fletch, who shall henceforth be known as 'Uncle Albert' after the Only Fools & Horses character, all due to his lack of shaving and general salty appearance. He was also ribbed a lot over his one and only pair of trousers and the stains thereon (cold tinned curry)? Meanwhile, Bob was rechristened 'Pop'. It was his birthday out there and apparently the Egyptian chef couldn't cope with a 'B'. It started off as MOP and ended up as POP. By the way, was his presence on the trip an attempt to flee the 'Skippy killer' tag gained at Dartmouth?

A rumour has surfaced from the trip that the 'man in white' is no more! Someone was out there purporting to be Malin, but where was the boiler suit? Finally, the last thing Mole has from the trip is the cryptic message that "Warren never got to see a turtle". Fine, but Mole thinks we'd all like to know why, and so what.

Meanwhile, ex-Chairman Dave Mead, has not only been seen diving, but rumour has it that he's actually joined Stoney Cove's Diverlog scheme and has even been seen there on a Saturday. Does Mole recall lots of earlier comments from him about it being a rip-off scheme and never joining?

Talking of Mr Mead, he who once took "The Adventures of Dougal" as his dive trip reading matter, news has reached Mole that the surreal world of Dougal, Zebedee, Dylan, Brian, Florence and Ermintrude is soon to return - this time as a feature film. Will he be taking up residence at the local flicks?

The time of mists and mellow fruitfulness may be upon us, and Mole's thoughts may be turning towards hibernation and cosying up with Miss Mole around the fire, but don't stop telling those stories and titbits that you just know you want Mole to pass on to the World.