MOLE
What a winter. With all that rain, who needed Stoney? Mole spent those wet months curled up in front of the fire, but he's glad to see that some of you have been out there, braving the elements (although he's not sure if you call jetting off to the Red Sea that), and doing all those silly things Mole loves to hear about.
First up, Mole hears of a dive course laid on for Mike Singleton's work mates from Sony. It must have been good, since having extolled the virtues of BSAC to them, a number have gone on and signed up for courses with their local branches. However, Mike has put his immediate boss onto a PADI course. Is Mike looking for rapid promotion into a soon to be vacated post?
It's March 19th, Club day at Stoney Cove, freezing cold out of the water and a spine tingling 4ºC in it. 11 bravehearts leapt in, but five of the Club's keenest divers, the Judds, Pete Hubbard, Annette and Dilys (aka Charlie's Angels) failed to turn up as promised but somehow made it to the drinks and lunch in the Stag and Pheasant at Newton (Mole thinks these may actually have been the sensible ones!). Mole thinks it was a bit off the relegate these poor souls to their own 'table of shame' however. By the way, given all this was at Newton, why wasn't DJ there to host everyone in his local? Maybe the sight of the bar staff renewing the Jamisons Whisky optic from the night before might give us a clue.
A million miles from Stoney, in temperature terms at least, is the Red Sea. In a desperate attempt to escape the winter, Mole stowed away on Mr Simblet's trip and came back with lots of tales to tell...
Off to Spend a penny £11
It starts as soon as the plane landed. Dilys Litchfield is seen immediately heading for the Ladies (I thought you were supposed to do that after you've tasted the local fare, not before). Unfortunately Dilys hadn't aquatinted herself with the local currency and when asked for payment, she handed over £11.00 for a pee! Dilys apparently claimed "it was expensive, but well worth it (I think we need to know more!!)". All was not lost though, Rugby Divers riding to the rescue and haranguing the poor old dear looking after the loos into handing back most of the dosh.
Like a Rock Cake, John?
Pete Hubbard is not the only Rugby Diver who loses his teeth. John Bramwell did the same during the trip, blaming it on the cake he was eating at the time.
Hubble Bubble, Toil And Trouble
In a bid to blend in with the locals, Jenny, Dilys and Annette were spotted hanging out with the locals puffing at a large hubbly bubbly pipe, their excuse was that they were practising their breath holding techniques! All was a blur after that!! May be that was just as well, as not to be out done in blending in, Gerald and John were having ago at outdoing the local belly dancer! Not a pretty sight!!
The Eden Project comes to Hurghada
During the trip some rather large plants kept appearing in some rather strange places The mobile plants kept appearing in lots of strange places including outside rooms, in showers, inside rooms and in lifts. It was a wonder they didn't turn up on the dive boat! And who put the crushed crisps in Gerald's bed? Lets just say that the two responsible, got their just rewards - a little assistance showering in their glad rags just before going out for the evening!
Rugby Divers become film stars for the day!
That crowd of divers from Rugby, decided to have ago at becoming thespians for the day. They hired a professional photographer to film them under water and out of water. Yes all the evidence is there, just how many women did Gerald go to sleep with on the boat? WHO is that woman who keeps waving at the camera? Does any body know her? What was Pete Simblet doing coming out of Annette's Laboratory!! Mole would like a few answers and wouldn't we all like to get our paws on THAT video!!
EO changes sex!!
Apparently, Michael May is also known as Michaela May thanks to Emperor divers. Michaela - you kept very quiet about this the other night ... By the way, if he is now a she, how come they can be feted as newly weds, and he a man of many wives?
Underwater barbers
It's well known that Pete Simblet shies away from barbers or hairdressers, but not on this trip. It has been caught on camera! He had the chop at 30 metres! But where are the little pink clips, Dilys and Annette want to know!! (Don't forget top share them with Michaela - Mole)
On a serious note, Mole knows that everyone who went on the trip would like to thank Pete Simblet for a great week. Besides all the fun out of the water, the diving in Hurghada was a good too. The gang saw dolphins, turtles and free swimming giant moray eels. By all accounts it was a wonderful holiday, all went very smoothly, and every one seemed to enjoy themselves. Thanks Pete!
Back in sunny (and Mole is not joking) England and the Club's Portland weekends. These are usually a reliable source of tales to be told and Mole's Dorset correspondent has scored again. So, there they were, the first weekend diving at Portland, and a rather hairy ride on the rib with Annette hanging on desperately with a very worried look on her face. We were looking for the M2, the co-ordinates in the GPS were not correct (if you have the tides right, who the hell needs co-ordinates? It's always crawling with dive boats!). In an endeavour to save the day, Matt and Fletch, simultaneously, had a really good idea! They thought if they threw a blob in as a point of reference, then did a circular search, they would hopefully find the wreck. So Fletch gave strict instructions to Sarah, in his oh so very authoritarian manner. So Sarah who dare not disobey, threw in the buoy as instructed avoiding the engine propellers, only for the buoy to disappear and never to be seen again!! So, was the rope too short or was the sea too deep? It's a mystery!!
Keep those stories coming - you just know everyone wants to hear them!!