MOLE

It is clearly time to hibernate. Mole has just seen pigs go flying past his latest molehill and Ian and Tracey's rebreathers have turned up at last. Mole has yet to see these wondrous pieces of kit, although the comment that "they look like drinks vending machines" apparently led some people to ask where the cups came out! Mind you, if what comes out is anything like what is dispensed by most drinks machines who wants to know anyway. On seeing them being trundled around the swimming pool, a nameless wag was heard to say "it's all very well there being no bubbles, but it does mean you can see when they fart!".

Going back to the summer, Ashby fete and John Cooper's looking after the 'cow pat' game, he should be thankful that events at a similar 'Spot the cowpat' fund raiser near Penarth in South Wales didn't repeat themselves. Apparently, Daisy, an awkward cow, responded to a call of nature before being led on to the field. This meant the organiser had to be blindfolded and handed a shovel with her offering. He was then spun around several times before launching Daisy's pat over his shoulder.

Now there are those who think that our Chairman is exempt from appearing in this column. No way! No-one escapes Mole's little claws. Back in summer on a trip to the south coast he had clearly had a good previous night or it was just a bad day! Not only did he manage to forget the spare fuel for the RIB (not a lot of use in the car boot!), but he tried to go diving without any fins! Talking of forgetting things, and (ex) Chairmen, Mole notes that one of those more forecful in the view that all the electronics should be in the garage kept hold of the radio recharger for no less than six weeks after a trip, meaning that the next gang had to rely on the radio not giving up on them.

Finally, following on from the amusing little story told at PADI's expense, in the last issue, another has reached Mole's furry little ears ...

A group of PADI, NAUI and BSAC divers are out on a boat and are sitting around after the first dive degassing. Suddenly someone says that they are hungry, maybe they should have a BBQ, but the required gear is not on board. "OK, no problem" says the NAUI instructor, jumps overboard, and to the amazement of everyone walks over the water to the shore and comes back a few minutes later with a grill. They set it up, then realise they have no wood. "No problem" says the PADI instructor, who leaps overboard, and to everyone's amazement, also walks over the water and returns with some wood. They make a fire then discover there is no meat. "No problem" says the BSAC instructor, who also goes overboard and starts walking over the water. Says the PADI instructor to the NAUI instructor "When did you tell him where the boulders are?" The BSAC instructor overhears this, turns around and replies "What boulders?" ...

Now, this may be the time of mists and mellow fruitfulness, but for Mole that means putting the kit away and going into diving hibernation for a few months. However, don't think this means that he isn't interested in any little titbit that could go towards making up this column. If you know of anything the world should hear about, let him know!

VHF RADIO OPERATORS COURSES

A one-day course is being held at Rugby College on Saturday 21st March 1998. It runs from 9.00am to 5.00pm and costs Ł55.

For more information call the College on 01788 538627.

Another course is being held at Daventry Tertiary College over 4 weeks starting Saturday 21st March. This one runs from 9.00 to 11.00am each Saturday and only costs Ł20.

More information on this one call the College on 01327 300232

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