MOLE Contrary to popular opinion, Mole has not been taking a long lie in from his hibernation! It’s just that with all this dry weather the ground is very hard. Have you tried burrowing through concrete in search of all those stories? It’s definitely headache forming!

As you know, Mole has mates all over the country and his Dorset diggers have come up trumps for this issue. First off we find ourselves in Poole on a rather wet and dismal morning. Trundling down to the Fisherman’s Dock, we find two Rugby Divers huddled in a ‘phone box. Mole’s mate didn’t say who, or why, or what they were up to (although maybe that’s too gory even for divers), so if you know more, why not tell Mole. All in strictest confidence of course!

Shortly after the aforesaid box had been vacated, it’s occupied again. This time it’s a single Rugby Diver who has decided to do a Super(wo)man and reckoned it would make a superb changing room. Don’t they have windows and if it was one of those modern ones, aren’t they a bit draughty?

Still in Dorset, those on the Weymouth hardboat trip had the fun of seeing Malin ‘tramping his foil’. If you were lucky this happened three times, at Chesil Cove, in Weymouth Harbour and in Lulworth Cove. Mole’s not quite sure what the point of it all is, there has to be easier ways of getting from A to B on water, but it certainly looks like one way to lose weight! By the way, at Lulworth why didn’t anyone get him to ‘tramp’ ashore and get some ice creams?

A final thought from down south, which Rugby Diver was heard to say that they don’t like other divers on top of them! No comment!

From an overseas Manx mole comes news that during the recent trip out there, Malcolm North managed hit a dry stone wall on a deserted country lane. Apparently it leapt out in front of him you know! All this in a borrowed Range Rover and resulting in several hundred pounds worth of damage to the vehicle.

Manx Mole reports that Malcolm has now been reported and has to be interviewed by the police for leaving the scene of the accident.

Apparently he did not wait to see if the dry stone wall would regain consciousness before giving it his details!

Finally, Mole has learned that our rebreathing friends, and sorry, but Mole still can’t look at them without thinking they look like yellow turtles, had a little altercation at Dosthill. The locals apparently decided they had a ‘no rebreathers without an SMB’ rule. They claimed it was needed in case they didn’t come back or got lost and they needed to find them. Two things, would Dosthill actually know they were still there anyway, and where on earth do you get lost in that godforsaken pit?

The season goes on! Don’t forget to let Mole have all those stories, tales and gossip.