Ten alternative uses for your dive kit:-

• Use a lobster snare to grab drinks that are far away.
• Use chemlights to keep up with your family during a blackout.
• Weight belts are perfect for keeping the kids in line at home.
• Attach a rebreather to your car's exhaust system and save the environment!
• Strap your nitrox tank on the trunk of the car and tell the local kids that its Nitro fuel-injected.
• Gear up and dive in one of those fountains in the mall that you throw pennies in, and tell people you're a professional treasure hunter.
• Use your diver down flag to locate your car in parking lots.
• Attach your fins to ceiling fan blades when not diving. It moves twice as much air and you'll always know where your fins are.
• Use your safety sausage for locating your wife at the shopping mall during Christmas season.
• Sit your dry suit in the passenger seat so you can use the car pool lane.

and ten signs that your dive buddy hates you

• He gives you the 'wait there' sign and you're still on the boat.
• The Coast Guard seems very interested in that bag of "talcum powder" your buddy loaned to you for your wetsuit.
• She 'forgets' to close your dry suit zipper.
• When you give him the out of air sign, he passes you his snorkel.
• When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his slate 'I'll get you some' and swims off.
• In an air sharing situation, you reach for your buddy's octopus and a note taped to it reads 'out of order'.
• In your photos from the shark diving excursion, your buddy is the one holding the 'tastes like chicken' sign with an arrow pointing at you.
• He writes, 'I hate you' on his dive slate.
• You give him the OK sign and he gives you the finger.
• He spits on your mask for you, but you haven't taken it off yet.

Ten alternative uses for your dive kit

• Use a lobster snare to grab drinks that are far away.
• Use chemlights to keep up with your family during a blackout.
• Weight belts are perfect for keeping the kids in line at home.
• Attach a rebreather to your car's exhaust system and save the environment!
• Strap your nitrox tank on the trunk of the car and tell the local kids that its Nitro fuel-injected.
• Gear up and dive in one of those fountains in the mall that you throw pennies in, and tell people you're a professional treasure hunter.
• Use your diver down flag to locate your car in parking lots.
• Attach your fins to ceiling fan blades when not diving. It moves twice as much air and you'll always know where your fins are.
• Use your safety sausage for locating your wife at the shopping mall during Christmas season.
• Sit your dry suit in the passenger seat so you can use the car pool lane.

and ten signs that your dive buddy hates you

• He gives you the 'wait there' sign and you're still on the boat.
• The Coast Guard seems very interested in that bag of "talcum powder" your buddy loaned to you for your wetsuit.
• She 'forgets' to close your dry suit zipper.
• When you give him the out of air sign, he passes you his snorkel.
• When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his slate 'I'll get you some' and swims off.
• In an air sharing situation, you reach for your buddy's octopus and a note taped to it reads 'out of order'.
• In your photos from the shark diving excursion, your buddy is the one holding the 'tastes like chicken' sign with an arrow pointing at you.
• He writes, 'I hate you' on his dive slate.
• You give him the OK sign and he gives you the finger.
• He spits on your mask for you, but you haven't taken it off yet.