If this trip report ends up sounding like one of those "write ups" places get in tourist literature, I don't mind at all because that's exactly the feel the whole weekend had about it.

It has been ages since the club was last diving in this area and so Matt D, Russell, John Hooper, Andy Bullard and myself set of for the East Riding along with DJ towing the RIB any being skipper. We had little expectation on the basis that whatever happened we could not then be disappointed.

In the event we had one of the best diving weekends of the year. The first pleasant discovery was that by tuning the new GPS into Great Britain and not Wake Island ( I believe it is somewhere in the Pacific) it could actually get us within shouting distance of a wreck. The fine tuning navigation was achieved by dropping the shot line as near as possible to the fishing boats that seem to be over every wreck. They gave us filthy looks, but we kited up anyway. As we made our final approach to the drop off they would "up anchor" and begrudgingly go off to fish elsewhere. The two morning dives were both on big wrecks in the 35metre plus zone, the Tredegar and the Feltre. We had 5 metres plus of viz., lots of life and lots of excitement. To quote Russell "deep, dark and dangerous, this is what its all about!!!!!"

Our second dives were both on the 25 metre shelf nearer to Bridlington itself. Unfortunately there were no fishermen over the wrecks here, and there was a good 2 knot current. However on both occasions we improvised a drift dive. This was great. Though the bottom was flat it had plenty on small rocks and lots of flat fist and crabs. It was good to see so many edible crabs and none of those Spider crabs that seen to have taken over the South and West coasts. After the excitement of the morning dives there both proved to be a relaxing contrast.

Bridlington itself was great fun. The younger members of the party enjoyed a spot of ornithology in the evenings, particularly admiring the local plumage which consisted exclusively of minimalist, skin tight, lycra clothing in primary colours. The more mature members relaxed drinking local beer at £1.00 (yes one pound) a pint and telling the usual tales of daring do. The Saturday evening was topped of with the traditional curry in the only curry house in Bridlington. This is an oriental version of Fawlty towers, and Mr De Souza performed wonderfully as Basil Faulty. He refused to give us what we ordered but insisted on giving us what he thought was best for us. Only Andy Bullard held out insisting on having a "semolina pudding", because it reminded him of school dinners. The rest of us try to forget. In the event he was the only one with a dickey tummy the next day. Did school teach him nothing?

The launch procedures at Bridlington are different. It cost £12.00 in all. You book in and show your insurance. This covers you for all the local amenities including wash down. They also cover booking out with the Coastguard. Three tractors operate all day long towing diving ribs, sail boats and fishing boats as well as the ubiquitous jet skis in and out. Its all very efficient and great fun.

We all had wonderful weekend. I for one shall be going back . It also goes to show that we must try to organise trips to new venues. By restricting ourselves to the same old sites we are missing out on some excellent diving as well as the fun of new places to visit.

John Fletcher

As it's that time of year when the GCSE results come out, a few gems from the 1999 papers (yes, these are all true!)

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Note there's no mention of divers!

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: What is a Hindu?
A : It lays eggs.